I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is classic penis vs brain.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
