Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
