This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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