I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
