Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
