i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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