Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
