You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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