Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
