Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
