i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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