Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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