I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
