if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
