i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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