So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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