Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You can't motorboat a personality
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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