Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
