After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
