Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize