i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize