he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
