That's intense
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
