the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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