I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
