If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
