I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
