I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
