So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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