After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
