My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize