His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
