I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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