the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
