Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
please come you make the beer taste better
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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