How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
