a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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