I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
