Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you never un-have a 4some
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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