when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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