I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
