i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
