man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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