My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
