I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
