where am i from again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
