im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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