You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
