oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
