when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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