I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
