every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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