so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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