i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
