my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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