If that was your dad, he is hot
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
