I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
