Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im holly from the hills drunk
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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