So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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