I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
