Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
