New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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