He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
