**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
