The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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