Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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