My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
